Your old set-in-his-ways uncle announced tonight that he won't be running for president anymore. This is like when Dario Saric said he wasn't coming over from Turkey to play for the Sixers this year, except for Sixers fans were actually upset by that news.
It's not that Mike Huckabee's brand of boogeyman fear-mongering and brazen bigotry is out of place in today's GOP, nor is his John Madden-esque strategy for dealing with ISIS. ("See, in order to defeat ISIS, we have to find them...and then kill them!") No, Mike's biggest problem is that everyone else is doing it better. Ted Cruz's foreign policies have all the subtlety of an 18-wheeler barreling through your living room, but he gives it that sparkly Ted Cruz Sheen(TM) that he glosses onto every point he makes. Marco Rubio makes hating foreigners seem cool and hip again; see, you can make hasty blanket statements about immigration while still having a professional quaff of hair. And in terms of loose-cannon xenophobia, it doesn't get much better than John Kasich. (Nah, just kidding, it's Trump)
So, peace, Mike Huckabee. The Republican party has no time for a dated set of principles coming from the mouth of a guy who's run for president a million times before. They'd rather hear it from some new guy instead.
#StandWithRand
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